When I started writing this post, it was 12:26 AM on Saturday morning, and all was quiet in the house. James had been asleep for sometime. I hadn't been asleep yet. I had been to bed but got up because I couldn't sleep. My mind wouldn't stop. So many things going on in there? How can I fix this? How can I fix that? Can this even be fixed? Should I even be thinking of fixing this? What if I said this, did that???? What in the world am I thinking in the first place? This is not a Fifi fixable problem. And it is then that I hear... "Whoa, wait just a minute..... slow down Felicia. Haven't we had this talk before? Why do I have to repeat this over and over again? Why do I have to keep reminding you that this is mine.You even chose the word 'still' for your word this year and we continually have to go over and over it." I might just be a little thick headed. Just maybe. Yes, Lord I hear you and no I don't know why I can 't get it.
I'm so glad He is patient with me. I'm so glad that He is willing to go over and over it, time and time again. I'm so glad He doesn't give up on me. Matthew 6:26 says "Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?" The scripture goes on to say in verse 34 that we shouldn't worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about its own things. I remember a song that we have sung for years. When I hear it in my head, I hear my mom singing it. "Many things about tomorrow, I don't seem to understand, but I know who holds tomorrow and I know who holds my hand." I can remember her singing it as she cleaned house, folded laundry or cooked supper. I wonder if, just maybe, she was reminding herself that God was very much capable of fixing the problems that had come up in her own life.
Simple reminders like scripture, that we've memorized from our childhood, or songs, that we've sung our entire lives, can help us to remember to let go of our control of issues. Things that are out of our control in the first place. Jerermiah 33:3 says: "Call unto me and I will answer thee and show thee great and mighty things which thou knowest not." We just need to call on Him. He is there waiting.
I snuggled up to a throw pillow on the sofa and started humming that old song of long ago and fell deeply asleep. Yes, I do know who holds tomorrow. Yes. He is in control. Do I know what the answers are? No. Does He? Yes! There was such a peace in my heart this morning upon waking. A stillness, a calmness.
"Thank you Father for seeing value in me and caring for me and the issues of my heart and life. Thank you for loving me through my insecurities. Thank you for not giving up on me. I'm so thankful that you have everything under control and that I can look to you for help in time of need. Amen."
Music Video by Bill and Gloria Gaither
Do you have the same problems as I do? Aren't you thankful that you have a Father who values you and cares for you? Call on Him. Ask Him to step in and take over. He is willing and able to carry you through.
With love and until we meet again, Fifi